Just Josie #2

{This would be better video taped! Or audio recorded even.}

Our neighbors are really good to Josie and she often goes over to borrow movies and to play their xbox.

Tonight our neighbors had a lot of cars in their driveway, and she asked why. I told her they were having a party! Bad idea. She loves parties! And yes, she has crashed their parties a few times before. She spent the rest of dinner trying to convince us that she was supposed to go to the neighbor's party. We kept telling her that she didn't get an invitation, so she couldn't go if she wasn't invited.

Then her face lights up with an idea! She insisted on returning the movie she borrowed. Oh Josie, we are on to you. We know how convenient it'd be to return a movie over there tonight.

When that didn't work, she says, "Guys, I have a plan!" Then she details on an imaginary map, "Ok here is our house, and we are gonna walk walk walk over here, to the [neighbor's] house." Nice try Josie.

She even tries to convince us by saying, "I'm serious! I'm telling the truth!"

But finally she knows what to say. "God has a plan for me." We all busted out laughing because we knew exactly what she was going to say was God's plan.

Nice try Josie. You're so creative though!

On the Inside

Sometimes it looks like I have everything all together, but allow me to let you in on a little secret - I don't. Don't be fooled by how it looks on the outside. I don't try to be fake but sometimes it's just easier not to bring up what goes on inside my head. The secret is: I am insecure.

I change my outfit multiple times, hoping each time that the next outfit will make me look pretty.

I stare hard into the mirror, hoping that I am thin, fit, and beautiful.

I wonder if I'm a good wife.

I don't feel like I'm the woman of God I should be.

I feel very inadequate.

Don't blame my husband, he doesn't do anything to make me feel less beautiful or to feel like less of a wife.

Where these insecurities come from, I'm not sure. But I need help to overcome the lies and rise above myself and instead to fix my eyes on Jesus.

I don't write this to get your sympathy or compliments. I write this to be honest. I want you to see inside my head. I want you to know that I don't have it all together.

Just Josie #1

Josie, my now 12 year old sister, is so precious to me. I want to record memories of her in this electronic memory bank as well.

My dad and brother came to visit us for Nate's spring break this year. They were heading down to our place from Cheyenne and I was heading home from work. Jason was at our house waiting. I called my mom cause it was her birthday. After talking to her, Josie got on the phone cause she wanted to talk to me. Her very first words were, "Can I talk to dad?"

"No Josie, dad's in a different car, he's not here."

"Oh. Can I talk to Jason?"

"No Josie, Jason is at home, not in the car with me."

"Oh. (Pause). Well I guess I'll talk to you."

Celebrate the Differences

Jason and I are very different in many ways. Most of the ways make me smile. Some of the ways I appreciate a lot. And there might be one or two ways that could be frustrating if I let them.

This last week I've been compiling a list of these differences, just for fun!

I always leave the switch on the overhead light in my car in the middle position so that the light turns on when my door is open and off when it shuts. I know when Jason drives my car, because the switch is always moved to the "off" position because he doesn't trust it to actually turn off when the doors shut. This makes me smile.

I rarely turn the air completely "off" in my car. I just adjust the temperature and/or fan settings to get the car comfortable. He turns the air completely off a lot. This makes me smile.

At dinner Jason eats one thing at a time and gets overwhelmed if I say things like, "Hey, are you gonna have some oven fries too??" I like to put a little of everything on my plate and eat a few bites of each thing here and there. This makes me smile.

I season my food while it's cooking and rarely add anything else once it's on the table. Jason needs salt and pepper on every meal and Worcestershire sauce on every piece of meat, no matter what other seasonings are on it. This makes me smile.

I like to plan ahead. Jason likes to be spontaneous and gets stressed if I try to plan too much too far ahead. This can be frustrating at moments, but we are learning to work together.

When Jason does the dishes, he puts them away as he goes. I leave them out on the counter to dry. I really appreciate that he puts them away right away, it makes the kitchen so much cleaner!

Jason is good a driving in the morning without falling asleep. I have a really hard time staying awake unless I get the perfect amount of sleep. I appreciate his ability to be a safe driver!

Jason hardly ever goes above the speed limit. I like to go 5 above most of the time. I appreciate his conviction of obeying the law exactly (and not getting a speeding ticket!)

I know there are more, and maybe I will add to the list later! I have found that our differences usually compliment each other or just give me something to smile about.

Memory Bank #1

{I'm going to create and electronic "memory bank" where I blog about random memories as they come to mind. That way I don't forget!}

In highschool when Jason and I were dating, I would leave notes for him EVERYWHERE! In his locker...on his car... After school his car would typically be parked at Fort Missoula for soccer practice and I would drive by it on my way home from cross-country practice. Usually I stopped and left a note and/or a treat in the car (because it was a junker he never locked it!). One weekend I was going hunting with Meaghan and would have no cell service the whole time. Friday night before we left we'd all been hanging out a friend's house. On my way back home I saw Jason's car parked at Rosaures (cause he had car pooled to the party) and I really wanted to stop and fill it with notes and treats, but it was late at night and I was expected home. When I got home and started to pack, my mom had the idea to take the popcorn you can pop over a campfire. But did we have any at home?? NO. So my mom sends me to...Rosaures. YES!! I was able to fill Jason's car with notes, oatmeal cream pies, laffy taffy, and sweethearts. He would find them the next morning...long after I was out of cell service.

Spring Break 2012 - Part 3: Conclusion

{continued from where I left off...part 1 and part 2}

Saturday night finished up with dinner at Lolo Creek Steakhouse and included a surprise "party" for Jason's birthday. After the steakhouse, it was my turn to share a devo with the girls. At this point, even after praying since Wednesday, I still hadn't been inspired with what to share. At least I thought... I was expecting to share your typical devo where you read a verse and talk about it, or you talk on a topic...you get the point. Saturday evening though I realized God was showing me what to share - He wanted me to confess. And to admit that I didn't have it all together. So I did. I told the girls about the week and about how I struggled. It was healing!

"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong" 2 Corinthians 12:9-10


When people ask how the trip went, I tell them it didn't go how I pictured or planned. But I'm so thankful it went the way it did, because God taught me a lot!

{The End...but I will try to post pics eventually!!}

Spring Break 2012 - Part 2: Uphill

{continuing from where I left off...}

The "uphill" climb of this week was never a huge or obvious breakthrough. It came in small ways, most of which I didn't even see until the weeks was over and I was reflecting. 

Starting Wednesday the girls and I did daily devos together. [Now, when I brought up the "devo" idea to the girls, I was dreading having to give one myself. And this is very unusual for me! Usually I love discipleship and sharing from the Word! But not this week. In fact, all week I prayed about what to share...and nothing came. This was all part of the spiritual "funk" I was in.] It was through prayer and devos led by these girls that the "spiritual light" in me began to get brighter. I couldn't do my own devos...but through them I could still be connected to God. The girls and I also prayed a lot, for all sorts of things. The spiritual fellowship I had with them really helped me.

Friday and Saturday were the highlights of the trip. By now I'm steady uphill, but still feeling shaky, as if anything could knock me back down. Jason and I are finally working as a team and being patient, loving, and understanding. 

On Friday we woke up "early" to play re-ball (like paintball) at City Life. That was a blast! Then the guys had to finish a project so us girls went and dropped "prayer bombs" in 5 places over Missoula. Prayer is so powerful, and so critical. Prayer, even when it's not about me or my "issues", inspire me and strengthens me spiritually! It was during our "prayer bombing" that we came across the 40 Days for Life campaign protesting abortion by prayer and had the neat opportunity to pray with them! Friday night we ran a 5k and then went to the movie October Baby - which I highly recommend!

Saturday was our street evangelism day. Our team met at the Break downtown and got off to a late start. But for God's timing, it was a perfect start! Jason and I were partners again. Even though we still weren't 100% spiritually or as a couple, we knew we needed to evangelize. We knew we couldn't "blow it" again. As walked down Higgins we passed by the first couple people without even saying a word. Street evangelism is so hard! But as we got down under the bridge, we prayed and approached a couple. We had a great, natural flowing conversation with them! We got to pray with them and talk about why they were in  Missoula and Jason got to do his rope illustration of sin and grace. They were already believers (of some sort) but it was still a pleasant and successful conversation. Walking away we felt a peace settle over us once more. By some apartments we found another couple out smoking. We walked up and I introduced us and asked if we could pray with them. Becky's face brightened, she really wanted someone to pray with and to encourage her! I sat down next to her and we prayed and talked for a while. She was so happy to have someone to talk about God with. Chris prayed with Jason. Then Jason shared the rope illustration with him, and Chris was "hooked".   Soon I overheard Jason praying again with Chris, this time because Chris wanted a personal relationship with Jesus. After talking together as a foursome, we ran to get my little NLT pocket Bible out of my trunk for Chris. And then we ran back to meet the team, because we were late and they were waiting! We were absolutely ecstatic that God used us, in our weakness, to lead someone to Christ and to encourage another believer!

{to be continued...}