The Last Best Place

Montana will always be home. And Montana will always take my breath away. God sure created some beautiful country here!

Check For Murderer

 

For those of you who fall into the above category (not gonna lie, that's me sometimes), you would appreciate  the downstairs bathroom of my parent's house:

Yes, that's right. There is a bb gun behind the towel in that bathroom, just in case you need to protect yourself from the murderer behind the curtain.

JUST KIDDING! Well sorta. There IS a bb gun there, but that's not the reason why. The reason why is Josie. Josie is obsessed with shooting the bb gun because she is TWELVE.

You see, for Josie age is defined by what you get to do, and a lot of it is based off what her siblings did at certain ages. For example, she believes that when you turn 20 you get married, because that's what I did. While she was still 11 she was praying with my dad one night. She prayed something along the lines of, "God, thank you that when I turn 12 I get to shoot a gun and kill people and kill animals." My dad immediately stopped her and said, "Josie, you never shoot people, only animals." And since then she has learned what to shoot and what not to shoot. (You can blame the "shoot people" desire on watching Westerns). Now that she is 12, she really enjoys marching into the yard with the bb(less) gun to "shoot" at birds. She just so happened to leave the gun on the bathroom floor, and now it is hanging out on the towel rack.

Just Josie #2

{This would be better video taped! Or audio recorded even.}

Our neighbors are really good to Josie and she often goes over to borrow movies and to play their xbox.

Tonight our neighbors had a lot of cars in their driveway, and she asked why. I told her they were having a party! Bad idea. She loves parties! And yes, she has crashed their parties a few times before. She spent the rest of dinner trying to convince us that she was supposed to go to the neighbor's party. We kept telling her that she didn't get an invitation, so she couldn't go if she wasn't invited.

Then her face lights up with an idea! She insisted on returning the movie she borrowed. Oh Josie, we are on to you. We know how convenient it'd be to return a movie over there tonight.

When that didn't work, she says, "Guys, I have a plan!" Then she details on an imaginary map, "Ok here is our house, and we are gonna walk walk walk over here, to the [neighbor's] house." Nice try Josie.

She even tries to convince us by saying, "I'm serious! I'm telling the truth!"

But finally she knows what to say. "God has a plan for me." We all busted out laughing because we knew exactly what she was going to say was God's plan.

Nice try Josie. You're so creative though!

On the Inside

Sometimes it looks like I have everything all together, but allow me to let you in on a little secret - I don't. Don't be fooled by how it looks on the outside. I don't try to be fake but sometimes it's just easier not to bring up what goes on inside my head. The secret is: I am insecure.

I change my outfit multiple times, hoping each time that the next outfit will make me look pretty.

I stare hard into the mirror, hoping that I am thin, fit, and beautiful.

I wonder if I'm a good wife.

I don't feel like I'm the woman of God I should be.

I feel very inadequate.

Don't blame my husband, he doesn't do anything to make me feel less beautiful or to feel like less of a wife.

Where these insecurities come from, I'm not sure. But I need help to overcome the lies and rise above myself and instead to fix my eyes on Jesus.

I don't write this to get your sympathy or compliments. I write this to be honest. I want you to see inside my head. I want you to know that I don't have it all together.

Just Josie #1

Josie, my now 12 year old sister, is so precious to me. I want to record memories of her in this electronic memory bank as well.

My dad and brother came to visit us for Nate's spring break this year. They were heading down to our place from Cheyenne and I was heading home from work. Jason was at our house waiting. I called my mom cause it was her birthday. After talking to her, Josie got on the phone cause she wanted to talk to me. Her very first words were, "Can I talk to dad?"

"No Josie, dad's in a different car, he's not here."

"Oh. Can I talk to Jason?"

"No Josie, Jason is at home, not in the car with me."

"Oh. (Pause). Well I guess I'll talk to you."

Celebrate the Differences

Jason and I are very different in many ways. Most of the ways make me smile. Some of the ways I appreciate a lot. And there might be one or two ways that could be frustrating if I let them.

This last week I've been compiling a list of these differences, just for fun!

I always leave the switch on the overhead light in my car in the middle position so that the light turns on when my door is open and off when it shuts. I know when Jason drives my car, because the switch is always moved to the "off" position because he doesn't trust it to actually turn off when the doors shut. This makes me smile.

I rarely turn the air completely "off" in my car. I just adjust the temperature and/or fan settings to get the car comfortable. He turns the air completely off a lot. This makes me smile.

At dinner Jason eats one thing at a time and gets overwhelmed if I say things like, "Hey, are you gonna have some oven fries too??" I like to put a little of everything on my plate and eat a few bites of each thing here and there. This makes me smile.

I season my food while it's cooking and rarely add anything else once it's on the table. Jason needs salt and pepper on every meal and Worcestershire sauce on every piece of meat, no matter what other seasonings are on it. This makes me smile.

I like to plan ahead. Jason likes to be spontaneous and gets stressed if I try to plan too much too far ahead. This can be frustrating at moments, but we are learning to work together.

When Jason does the dishes, he puts them away as he goes. I leave them out on the counter to dry. I really appreciate that he puts them away right away, it makes the kitchen so much cleaner!

Jason is good a driving in the morning without falling asleep. I have a really hard time staying awake unless I get the perfect amount of sleep. I appreciate his ability to be a safe driver!

Jason hardly ever goes above the speed limit. I like to go 5 above most of the time. I appreciate his conviction of obeying the law exactly (and not getting a speeding ticket!)

I know there are more, and maybe I will add to the list later! I have found that our differences usually compliment each other or just give me something to smile about.

Memory Bank #1

{I'm going to create and electronic "memory bank" where I blog about random memories as they come to mind. That way I don't forget!}

In highschool when Jason and I were dating, I would leave notes for him EVERYWHERE! In his locker...on his car... After school his car would typically be parked at Fort Missoula for soccer practice and I would drive by it on my way home from cross-country practice. Usually I stopped and left a note and/or a treat in the car (because it was a junker he never locked it!). One weekend I was going hunting with Meaghan and would have no cell service the whole time. Friday night before we left we'd all been hanging out a friend's house. On my way back home I saw Jason's car parked at Rosaures (cause he had car pooled to the party) and I really wanted to stop and fill it with notes and treats, but it was late at night and I was expected home. When I got home and started to pack, my mom had the idea to take the popcorn you can pop over a campfire. But did we have any at home?? NO. So my mom sends me to...Rosaures. YES!! I was able to fill Jason's car with notes, oatmeal cream pies, laffy taffy, and sweethearts. He would find them the next morning...long after I was out of cell service.