Sometimes it looks like I have everything all together, but allow me to let you in on a little secret - I don't. Don't be fooled by how it looks on the outside. I don't try to be fake but sometimes it's just easier not to bring up what goes on inside my head. The secret is: I am insecure.
I change my outfit multiple times, hoping each time that the next outfit will make me look pretty.
I stare hard into the mirror, hoping that I am thin, fit, and beautiful.
I wonder if I'm a good wife.
I don't feel like I'm the woman of God I should be.
I feel very inadequate.
Don't blame my husband, he doesn't do anything to make me feel less beautiful or to feel like less of a wife.
Where these insecurities come from, I'm not sure. But I need help to overcome the lies and rise above myself and instead to fix my eyes on Jesus.
I don't write this to get your sympathy or compliments. I write this to be honest. I want you to see inside my head. I want you to know that I don't have it all together.
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3 comments:
Have you ever read Captivating? Reading that book really helped me, and though i am still incredibly insecure as well, it taught me more about who i am as a woman in Christ. I lead a group study on it this semester and this last week we read about how Satan has a special hate for women.( it think its chapter 5 ) While our sinful nature has a lot to do with our insecurities and doubts as women we also have to remember that we also fight against the invisible, evil forces of Satan. He wants nothing more than to mar the face of God, and you my dear are made in the image of the living God. I hope that this is as encouraging to you as it was to me! It was so neat to get to see you today! blessings
I haven't read it but maybe I should! I did read So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore which is really good too, but at the time when I read it I didn't really have insecurities, so it was more informational. I want to read it again since now I'd take it to heart not just to head...
I agree with Bee. I was going to recommend that same book. I am reading it and I plan to use it with my college and career Sunday school class. It has had an impact in my life.
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