Spring Break 2012 - Part 3: Conclusion

{continued from where I left off...part 1 and part 2}

Saturday night finished up with dinner at Lolo Creek Steakhouse and included a surprise "party" for Jason's birthday. After the steakhouse, it was my turn to share a devo with the girls. At this point, even after praying since Wednesday, I still hadn't been inspired with what to share. At least I thought... I was expecting to share your typical devo where you read a verse and talk about it, or you talk on a topic...you get the point. Saturday evening though I realized God was showing me what to share - He wanted me to confess. And to admit that I didn't have it all together. So I did. I told the girls about the week and about how I struggled. It was healing!

"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong" 2 Corinthians 12:9-10


When people ask how the trip went, I tell them it didn't go how I pictured or planned. But I'm so thankful it went the way it did, because God taught me a lot!

{The End...but I will try to post pics eventually!!}

Spring Break 2012 - Part 2: Uphill

{continuing from where I left off...}

The "uphill" climb of this week was never a huge or obvious breakthrough. It came in small ways, most of which I didn't even see until the weeks was over and I was reflecting. 

Starting Wednesday the girls and I did daily devos together. [Now, when I brought up the "devo" idea to the girls, I was dreading having to give one myself. And this is very unusual for me! Usually I love discipleship and sharing from the Word! But not this week. In fact, all week I prayed about what to share...and nothing came. This was all part of the spiritual "funk" I was in.] It was through prayer and devos led by these girls that the "spiritual light" in me began to get brighter. I couldn't do my own devos...but through them I could still be connected to God. The girls and I also prayed a lot, for all sorts of things. The spiritual fellowship I had with them really helped me.

Friday and Saturday were the highlights of the trip. By now I'm steady uphill, but still feeling shaky, as if anything could knock me back down. Jason and I are finally working as a team and being patient, loving, and understanding. 

On Friday we woke up "early" to play re-ball (like paintball) at City Life. That was a blast! Then the guys had to finish a project so us girls went and dropped "prayer bombs" in 5 places over Missoula. Prayer is so powerful, and so critical. Prayer, even when it's not about me or my "issues", inspire me and strengthens me spiritually! It was during our "prayer bombing" that we came across the 40 Days for Life campaign protesting abortion by prayer and had the neat opportunity to pray with them! Friday night we ran a 5k and then went to the movie October Baby - which I highly recommend!

Saturday was our street evangelism day. Our team met at the Break downtown and got off to a late start. But for God's timing, it was a perfect start! Jason and I were partners again. Even though we still weren't 100% spiritually or as a couple, we knew we needed to evangelize. We knew we couldn't "blow it" again. As walked down Higgins we passed by the first couple people without even saying a word. Street evangelism is so hard! But as we got down under the bridge, we prayed and approached a couple. We had a great, natural flowing conversation with them! We got to pray with them and talk about why they were in  Missoula and Jason got to do his rope illustration of sin and grace. They were already believers (of some sort) but it was still a pleasant and successful conversation. Walking away we felt a peace settle over us once more. By some apartments we found another couple out smoking. We walked up and I introduced us and asked if we could pray with them. Becky's face brightened, she really wanted someone to pray with and to encourage her! I sat down next to her and we prayed and talked for a while. She was so happy to have someone to talk about God with. Chris prayed with Jason. Then Jason shared the rope illustration with him, and Chris was "hooked".   Soon I overheard Jason praying again with Chris, this time because Chris wanted a personal relationship with Jesus. After talking together as a foursome, we ran to get my little NLT pocket Bible out of my trunk for Chris. And then we ran back to meet the team, because we were late and they were waiting! We were absolutely ecstatic that God used us, in our weakness, to lead someone to Christ and to encourage another believer!

{to be continued...}

Spring Break 2012 - Part 1: Downhill

Back in the fall, Jason felt like God wanted us to lead a small group (8 others) of students from Frontier to Missoula for a Spring Break Mission Trip. There would be Jason and I, plus 4 guys and 4 girls. The guys stayed at Jason's house in Florence and the girls stayed at my house in Missoula. Our team left Friday March 16 for mission trip that did not go at all how I would have planned or expected... Arriving in Missoula Saturday evening, our first project was scheduled for Sunday. Sunday was the start of things going downhill. I started struggling spiritually in a way I never had before. I knew I couldn't stop believing in God, so it wasn't that I doubted God that week, it was just that the spiritual "light" in me was really really dim. I felt spiritually numb. I couldn't really do a devo or pray, except to pray things like, "God what's going on? If there is any sin/barrier/etc please show me..." Sunday was the first day Jason and I struggled. There were a lot of new experiences for our marriage this week - staying at separate houses for 9 nights, only seeing each other around at least 8 other people, and having to lead something together for the first time. Sunday was when we started having needless conflict about...I don't even know! And usually we are pretty "careful" in our conflict, and try not to have conflict over nothing. But I found myself saying rude and hurtful things, even though I knew they wouldn't help. I found myself telling him, "I don't care anymore!" What?? Where did this come from?? We don't treat each other like that! But those couple days...we did! Sunday was also the day we showed up for our first project...and they didn't even know we were coming and already had something going on. Sunday was the start of a downhill week. I felt like a failure. I felt like I couldn't be a leader or the wife I should be or the "Christian" I should be. Inside my head all I could hear was lies about who I was and it felt like a war going on in my heart....

{to be continued...}