On the Inside

Sometimes it looks like I have everything all together, but allow me to let you in on a little secret - I don't. Don't be fooled by how it looks on the outside. I don't try to be fake but sometimes it's just easier not to bring up what goes on inside my head. The secret is: I am insecure.

I change my outfit multiple times, hoping each time that the next outfit will make me look pretty.

I stare hard into the mirror, hoping that I am thin, fit, and beautiful.

I wonder if I'm a good wife.

I don't feel like I'm the woman of God I should be.

I feel very inadequate.

Don't blame my husband, he doesn't do anything to make me feel less beautiful or to feel like less of a wife.

Where these insecurities come from, I'm not sure. But I need help to overcome the lies and rise above myself and instead to fix my eyes on Jesus.

I don't write this to get your sympathy or compliments. I write this to be honest. I want you to see inside my head. I want you to know that I don't have it all together.